Friday, October 31, 2008

Blowing Up

Have any of the rest of you posters noticed that the popularity of this blog has increased by a factor of about 7 in the past three months?

http://www.sitemeter.com/?a=stats&s=s34peepmy&r=33

Does anyone have any theories as to why this has happened? The number of posts per month has increased, but only modestly.

We should see if we can figure out a way to continue the trend.

What's Wrong with the Democratic Republic of Congo?

http://www.economist.com/vote2008/

Down and Cumming

http://www.dailycardinal.com/article/21095

Props to Mirk for that one. I think you can find the perpetrator by locating the person who got those sure to be ridiculous fliers blown up into a huge poster.

Up and running.

http://sosuperspecialblog.blogspot.com/

Not much there yet, but I'll do my best to keep yall informed/entertained.

Easy.

vote with your gum



.com

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bacon Vodka!


http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/taste_test_bacon_infused_vodka

"It smells and looks and feels like a vodka tonic, so your body goes, 'Oh it's a vodka tonic.' Then it hits your stomach and your body's like, 'Oh, it's bacon, maybe I should go throw up.'"

Monday, October 27, 2008

Shrimp Fucks Cabbage

I just found this amazing website that pokes fun at translations.

Here's a few samples:





Burish holding his own!



A nice little blog by Madison native Adam Burish - who will beat the shit out of you.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

In case any of you are counting your chickens...

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2008/10/27/undecideds/

On that note..........

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I'd like to know. . .


What's the difference between Palin's mouth and her vagina ??








Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded

White Devils Be Crazy

Saturday, October 25, 2008

True ...

That was then ... this is now ...

It's a dam shame that if Barack wins, he'll be inheriting one of the bleakest economic situations that America has ever faced. Yes, the "housing bubble" has been looming since 2005 but take a look at Barack's letter to the Fed from March of this year.

Give McCain some credit for being part of a similar letter a few months later.

Good presidents don't need to be prescient, they just need judgment and an ability to inspire others in times of crisis ... anyway, here's hoping that whoever wins this election can inspire Americans to adopt a lifestyle where they don't live outside their means. Otherwise, we're all screwed six more ways to Sunday than our baby-boomer parents already are.

Would Half These Kids Really Vote For McCain?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Throw the book at 'em


So I got jury duty tomorrow. It's hard to believe that the United States Government is entrusting me with someone else's freedom. I mean most of my friends won’t even leave me with an important decision. Shit is comical. I have never been on a jury before. I envision it's about as much fun as actually being on trial. So far the only advantage of this whole ordeal is I get a day off (Yes, I work now son). Maybe I can just play off of people’s fears and prejudices and get booted, and don’t give me that civic pride ish.

I guess I hope I get some interesting ass case some stuff ripe for Court TV or whatever. Like one of those jaded lover killings or cartel style drug busts. But I guess anything gruesome or anything sexually perverse will do. What would be great is if I caught one of those hot middle school milf teachers cheating on her husband with a student. I love that shit. I mean honestly though, how is that a crime? Who is the victim (beside obviously the husband). I guess if I was banging an ugly teacher when I was 13 you can kind of consider that illegal, but if she's like a dime piece or something isn't the real victim society as a whole? I sure as shit stinks wouldn't be complaining if I was 13 choking my hot Spanish teacher up against the chalkboard. Ok so you lock her up, now what? Now no one will get an opportunity to score with her while she's fist deep in some 300 lb. inmate named Charlene for 5 to 10. And while we're at it, fuck it. I think all hot girls should definitely be allowed to stay out of jail actually. Or maybe we can put them all in a special jail where they have to oil wrestle each other in a bracket style tournament for their freedom. I actually think if I had presented that to John Quincy Adams or whoever designed our prison system he would be down. I seriously don't think anyone would be complaining about Lindsay Lohan lubed up pitted against uh.. let's say, Brandy in a submission match for their freedom. Shit, I would even pay to watch that on Pay- Per-View. You could even flip it where you could take popular male prisoners like the Unabomber or Mumia Abdul Jabar and have them special referee the match. Can you imagine the ratings? Lets be honest, the justice system is fucked, score one for the prision industrial complex. I say, let's go the distance for the good of sexy time. Free O.J. Simpson, Leonard Pelitier & Shyne.

I leave you with Myfirstsexteacher

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Yukon Ho!






I feel this way about most of my experience at law school. There are so many random facts about cases that teachers harp on that make no difference beyond that class. It's only important to know the law and the theory of the case for the exam. Everything else falls to the way side, and yet teachers still go ape shit if you can't recall if the property was 10 acres or 11.

Also Calvin and Hobbes is one of the greatest pieces of fiction i've ever read, and easily had the biggest impact on my youth.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Represent that Punjabi!

Greatness


Oh Boy...



Quantum Leap Theme

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/88222


Ha, any Quantum Leap humor always goes over well in these parts. These parts meaning at least my head.

A Good Wednesday Morning Rant

As some of you know, I love to go to concerts. I generally go to at least a couple a month (not counting live music in bars). Since I've been in Chicago (13 months), I've noticed that the crowds at concerts are different from the crowds in concerts in Madison and Milwaukee. Specifically, they tend to talk ... a lot ... especially the people who stand directly behind me. I just don't get it. Last night, Julie and I went to see Okkervil River at the Metro. Midway through the show, the lead singer said, "we'd like to play a slow one for you" and he started playing "A Girl in Port" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLhbjBIqA7g), which happens to be my favorite song of theirs. Most of the people around us took that as a cue to have loud conversations, which literally drowned out the vocals for the first minute of the song.

Here's what I don't understand: If you want to go somewhere to drink and have conversations with your friends, why go to a place that costs $40 to get into and charges you $7 for a beer after you wait in line for 10 minutes? I have nothing against people having conversations with their friends. However, I do have something against people having those conversations by yelling at each other within three feet of my ears when I'm trying to listen to one of my favorite bands play one of my favorite songs at a concert I've been looking forward to for two months.

On another note, I'd like to make a few comments involving the use of high-tech devices at concerts. First, I don't understand the concept of shooting low-quality videos on your $99 digital camera from 100 feet away from the stage, especially when you spend the first half of the song shooting your video and then spend the second half of the song huddled up with your friends watching the crappy video you just made. Second, I don't understand the concept of spending half the concert texting updates to your friends. Do you really think your buddy who's at home sitting on his couch watching TV is pumped to receive a text message at 11:16 that says, "Hell yeah! Okkervil River just took the stage!" one at 11:23 that says, "They're really on tonight. The sound's great and the crowd's hyped!" one at 11:31 that says, "Oh my God, they're playing 'Black.' Fucking sick!" and then 11 more messages over the next hour? Do you think he's impressed with you? Do you think it's his dream to live vicariously through your text messages? Even if he gives a shit, he's just going to think you're a giant douche bag for rubbing it in his face that you're at the concert and he's not.

This is Andy Rooney. Good night.

We Appreciate Your Comments ... For the Sake of Comedy

Someone I may or may not be related to stayed at a hotel in Sandpoint, Idaho recently and decided to give some feedback to the management (different Alex) through the following e-mail:

Dear Alex:

I am happy to provide you some of my observations and recommendations with regard to the logistics, construction, and management of the Dover Bay bungalows.

As you may recall, two of my daughters and I had arranged through Marie to stay four consecutive nights, 2-5 October, in your bungalow 1-D, "Seas the Moment," but we were forced by circumstances beyond your control to cut short our visit. We checked out on the morning of the 4th after having been awakened at 1:00 that morning by fireworks set off right outside our bungalow.

Notwithstanding our rude awakening, we did enjoy most of our time in Dover Bay. Your natural setting could not be improved upon, and all of the service personnel with whom we interacted were friendly and helpful.

When we checked in to 1-D on the 2nd, we found the following deficiencies and defects in the bungalow:

1. Very poor television reception, which was a problem for us because we'd planned to watch the vice-presidential debate that evening. We informed Melissa, who called in a service technician who managed to correct the problem just before the debate began.

2. Missing light bulb in double fixture over the kitchen sink. We had to go to the Market for a replacement bulb.

3. A hole of the approximate diameter of a woman's finger punched through the bathroom door.

4. Garbage disposal problem: Someone had dropped a bottle cap into the garbage disposal; when we turned on the appliance, it made a terrible racket. I finally reached my hand into the disposal--a distasteful task--and pulled out a battered bottle cap. There is of course no excuse for this, and I have to wonder whether it was done deliberately by either the previous resident or someone on the housekeeping staff.

5. Inadequate linens for fold-out couch. We had to go to Melissa for a blanket, which she 'borrowed' from another bungalow.

6. Too much furniture, too little floor space. Big problem here. There was no surface on which to conveniently unpack luggage and no designated storage space other than that provided by the one closet in the "master" bedroom. We would happily have traded at least three of the chairs (two in living room, huge rocker in second bedroom) for a couple of dressers. We certainly did not need the two armchairs that you have crammed in along the wall between the couch and the fireplace. We were forced to live out of our suitcases. This was not restful.

7. Accommodations not as promised in information packet. The floor plan of 1-D shows a closet in the second bedroom. We would gladly have traded the huge, unusable rocker--no floor space for rocking--for a closet or a dresser in that room.

8. Totally inadequate storage space in bathroom. We recommend that you install hooks, shelves on brackets, and a shower caddy for the convenience of your guests.

9. Foul-smelling nightstands in both bedrooms. Try opening the top drawer; the hydrocarbon fumes are terrible and overwhelming! We were unable to use the nightstands for storage. At the very least you need to air out the drawers and cabinets...for several days.

10. Inadequate towel supply. Three women cannot live happily for four days with only four bath towels. I think you need to change your linens policy and provide a fresh supply of towels upon request. Your current policy seems stingy, especially when one considers your rates.

11. Hostile written policy in re: late departures. I certainly understand the need to have departing guests vacate the premises by 10:00 a.m. That is entirely reasonable. But to threaten to charge stragglers $100. per hour beyond check-out time is outright hostile and off-putting and sounds unprofessional. I suggest that you consider rewording your late-check-out policy.

Additional recommendations:

1. Install a handle on the inside of the screen door; otherwise it is difficult to prevent the door from slamming loudly and disturbing other guests.

2. It would be great to have a compact DVD player installed near the TV.

3. Furnish leg rests to complement your wonderful Adirondack chairs, and vary the number of chairs per bungalow to reflect the number of occupants on a given date. We had three people and two chairs and had to haul a dining chair outside. This was awkward. You need the leg rest (ottoman) because the angle of the chair is uncomfortable without support for the lower legs and feet.

I hope you find my comments helpful.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Most Depressing Wedding Registry Ever


Julie and I were invited to the wedding of one of her former co-workers two months ago. We didn't go, but we decided to send a gift. Then we went to the wedding registry on Target.com, and it made us consider sticking our fingers in electrical sockets.

http://www.target.com/registry/wedding/327THFZRIJ9HB

Some of the highlights:

OXO 7-pc. Clip Set - Assorted Colors

Scotch-Brite Medium-Duty Scrub Sponges 10-pk.

Kidde Garage/Workshop Fire Extinguisher- Red

O-Cel-O Expressions Fuzzy Scrubber

American Red Cross Emergency Preparedness 106-pc. First Aid Kit

It would be one thing if these people needed to scrimp and save to afford cleaning supplies, but they have a six-figure household income.

I wanted to get the 10 pack of sponges, but Julie couldn't pull the trigger.

I'm sure this pair of hopeless romantics is now deep in the throes of wedded bliss.

Got boner?




saw this dude strolling down michigan avenue on saturday.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Can we please?


This would be spectacular news and it would be about goddamn time. Also, just in case you were looking for additional reasons to vote against McCain...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Making Love to Yourself


Anyone else like to jerk off? I do, a LOT! I was walking down the street yesterday and a hot girl passed by, immediately my mind switched to sex mode. I started to pick up my pace, not to catch up with her, but to get back to my apartment so I could beat it. Then I thought about it, what’s my hurry? When I get back I could hop online and see any number of ladies doing any number of nasty things. Shit, if I wanted to I could have stopped right there in the street, pulled out my blackberry, and had some kinky Latina’s brown eye starring me in the face. These days you can choke your shit anywhere you get reception.

Do you remember what it used to be like to flog the dolphin mid 90’s? I used to sit at my parents computer for 2 hours trying to download some matures muff. By the time the pic popped up I had forgotten what I was doing. While that was annoying, I think we can all agree that whacking off has gotten too easy son! DSL and high resolution computer screens have killed the art of making love to yourself. That’s why I am starting a movement; from now on I will only use the lost art of mental masturbation. Think about it, there is an infinite supply of porn files downloaded on the hard drive of your mind. Every chick you have ever known has been stored up there, ready to be tea bagged at a moments notice. That is the best part, unlike my macbook here, my mind allows me to put any chick I have ever seen, in any situation, any position, any outfit, and in any location I see fit in order to bust a nut. This morning I gang banged the 5 hottest chicks I went to high school with in the girls locker room shower. This afternoon Alesha Keys sucked me off while she played piano. And tonight I am planning on hate fucking the shit out of Sarah Palin and then cumming on those glasses she is always wearing. The possibilities are endless, and the rewards far greater, when you start practicing the art of mental masturbation. Join me, because when its 5 against 1, everyone wins.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Best Alcohol Ad Ever

Is this serious? Is it a joke? Either way it's hilarious.

http://crystalheadvodka.com/#

Friday, October 03, 2008

Let's have fun?



Devin the Dude - El Grande Nadgas

What a memorable past week in Wisconsin sports.  Of course, memorable for the range of feelings...the shock and disgust of the Michigan loss to the euphoria of the Brewers making the playoffs.  The anticipation of the first playoff games of most of our lives, to the disappointment of going down 0-2 AFTER CC started game 2.  

Taking a step back, it's hard to complain about a top 20 football team and a playoff baseball team.  Yet, perspective is gained in the off-season, so the present remains a frustrating time.  

The Brewers need to start hitting quickly and seeing how they've been slumping at the plate for some time now, it's hard to believe that will suddenly start happening.  We've talked about them ad nauseam as of late on here, so I'll leave it at that.

As for UW, I've found it hard to read much of anything regarding the Michigan fiasco last week or OSU game on Saturday.  I certainly haven't quit on the season, it is far too early to do so, but reminding myself of last Saturday is painful and explanations of  questionable offensive play calling, Beckum's odd game status, Clay's lack of use, etc. don't offer me much insight on the collapse that was.

However, in an effort to shift focus to tomorrow's game, how about a look back to the last time OSU visited (also a national TV night game played in October).  Here's a good article setting the background for that game, as well as a recap.

While UW would go on to have a very average 7-6 season, this electric win over OSU and specifically the Lee Evans TD you see above, are some of the most memorable I've ever seen in person.  I'm pretty sure once I step foot in Madison this weekend my current sports malaise will subside, but until then this is a nice reminder that there are few things better than night games at UW.  Let's hope that rings true this weekend...or on to the Bucks and their riveting quest to grab the 8th seed in the East.  Sweet.