You gotta vote for Joe Springs after this one......

Brother Ali -The Rope-A-Dope *Talkin My Shit*

A hot new joint for yo ass.

Erik James Horvat-Markovic

I'm not sure if any of you have seen The Pickup Artist on VH1, but my roomate just introduced me and I'm captivated.

I thought for a while about writing my usual snarky and pessimistic opinion on why this TV show reitorates why we as Americans should all kill ourselves, but a quick peak around the blogosphere shows the rant has already been ranted - many, many, many times.

Instead I'll simply recommend you check this show out, if for no other reason than to find out how a 37-year-old Canadien, born Erik James Horvat-Markovic, has converted his original love for Dungeons & Dragons and magic into the supposed ability to sleep with any woman on Earth within minutes. Oh - and his name is now Mystery, and his co-host is named Matador:



Other than gunning his comedic overuse of 'accessories' and layered pirate cloaks, I think the main reason the show is so captivating is because it inspires the simple counter-exercise of trying to devise a plan for truly testing Mystery's ability to 'target, seduce, and close' on any genuinely intelligent, secure woman that didn't A) know he was rich B) want a drink C) know he was on national television. (We all know even Oprah is sucking mystery dicks for money, drinks, and fame).

This morning I stumbled upon this article on Salon which includes an interview with Mystery. It wasn't until a few minutes after I had finished reading it that I realized Clark-Flory's volley of questions had eliminated any interest I had in the show beforehand. Proving this guy is a clucker would probably be about as enjoyable as kicking the shit out of him at a game of Dungeons & Dragons and stealing one of his many colorful medallions.

We seriously have the coolest friends in the world !!!

Possibly the best text I have ever received:

"Ill eat your family son! Merry Christmas to your family."

-Dubb

This holiday season will be 100% greatness. Word up.

LL Vs. Rakim + KRS

I don't know what Budden is talking about, but I agree with DJ dude having a smoke.....

Boss Hog Egg Nog

The homey Tyler Kerkowitz from Milwaukee in the new J-Zone video.

Guiness Book Of World Records' Longest Grin Ever.

Very reminiscent to D. Harris the other day between the cheerleaders !!

Best of the Best

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Have a great life fatso.

Count Bass D - Gio Any (I Cold Just Came In)

Credit to Mirk for passing this along. It's not completely clear if it's real, but based on Rahm Emanuel's rep it certainly not far fetched. Great shit.

Wiretap on line 312-XXX-XXXX
November 10th, 2008
12:42 PM Eastern Time
Rush transcript:

RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.

EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.

BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...

EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.

BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting
names. Good people. How's the transition going?

EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to
fucking tell me anything, or what, cause I--

BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks
already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--

EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov,
you know that.

BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger
here.

EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a
stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking
business to take this fucking phone call?

BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.

EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being
fucking busy. Now what did you call about?

BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret]
still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of
priority that is for the President-Elect.

EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second
thoughts about the job.

BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?

EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more
details, you ask her.

BLAGO: She won't take my calls.

EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.

BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?

EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean
governor? A.) You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking
asshole. C.) All of the above.

BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking
Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he
had shit to go on?

EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we
really don't give a shit.

BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?

EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm
not gonna fucking kiss your ring over it.

BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're
talking about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than
appreciation.

EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking
list, you want to make your own list then make your own
fucking list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for
anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can
fucking stop talking right now Rod.

BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute.
Who are you to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.

EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking
joking.

BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this
list I got, the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for
the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that?
Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?

HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?

BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?

[Whirring, shredder noise]

HARRIS (muffled): I did.

EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?

BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.

EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking
speakerphone? Who the fuck do you think I am?

BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear
me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any
more.

EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.

BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck
you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that
Rahm? How you gonna explain that to fucking Barack, every
time he's gotta call me up for my fucking vote. He'd have to
take my calls then, wouldn't he?

EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!

BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your
attention now, didn't I?

EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second
Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the
last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are fucking
dead to me. You been fucking dead to Barack since '06, now
you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're
dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these
friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten
foot fucking pole.

BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.

EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

BLAGO: Fuck you!

EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan,
maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally
brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going
through your head. You won't know the hows or the fucking
whys, but it's gonna have my fucking fingerprints all over
it. Have a great life fatso.

BLAGO: Hey fuck--

EMANUEL: [Click.]

End of conversation


Bonus: Andy Samberg as Emanuel on an un-aired SNL skit:

An attempt to bury the previous post

Serg from beerandrap and OhWord drops some knowledge on drinking beer:

"I like beer because drinking beer shows dedication and perseverance. Drinking liquor is for bitch ass motherfuckers who can’t commit to drunkness. Doing shots is cute but I’m in this game for the long run. I’m not going to cheat myself by throwing back shots with mall pussy because I know that there is no better sense of accomplishment than waking up on your living room floor with your face a little crusty surrounded by a mountain of empty beer cans that you just destroyed the fuck out of.

Drinking beer with people can teach you a shitload of crap that books and shit can not. For instance you can learn a lot about a person by what they drink. Take dudes that drink Bud Light, those guys are usually fucking bitches. If you’re going to drink shitty beer then drink real shitty beer, like Pabst or fucking Busch. Speaking of shitty beer, we have the High Life dudes. They are a strange one because in some cities it’s a hipster beer, although PBR seems to reign king with girlpants that don’t want to put too much of a dent into their art school allowance (in other locales High Life is also frequented by this group). Thing is that in other cities High Life is just another shitty beer, like Milwaukee’s Best, that broke high school kids drink for cheap. Then we have the dudes who drink Coors; those guys are usually racist assholes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drink Coors Light in public. That shit is an embarrassment to pussies everywhere.

Guys who drink Keystone are usually retarded or they wear white hats, Ambercrombie shirts, and say bro a lot. Not to be confused with Natural Ice drinkers who don’t say bro as much. But the thing about Natural Ice is that when it is sold in the tall can you will usually find a 30’s something black male named Jimmy drinking it. Jimmy works for the city and can get you a backhoe on Sundays to clear out your ditch for about twenty bucks and some cold ones. Jimmy is cool as fuck and will even by your underaged ass some brews too if you give him a ride over to the store on east 29th(thanks Jimmy).

Then we come to the Michelob guys, who the fuck buys this shit? Those are the dudes who think beer is yucky but buy this shit because they thought those commercials from the 80’s were sophisticated. Budwieser is the beer that even if you don’t like it you learn to drink it because you can’t get away from that shit. Everyone from your mom to nascar fans drinks this shit. Oh and Budweiser Select is the new Michelob but for people who don’t remember those shitty commercials or Pontiac Fiero’s. There is also fucking Killigans Red and Pete’s Wicked. These beers are usually drunk by high school kids who wish to be more sophisticated than their High Life counterparts. Their fathers were probably Michelob drinkers. Rolling Rock is for the athletic types who prefer their beer to be more like water with faint aftertaste. Rolling Rock light is for the people these types fuck in the ass. Corona is for white people who are really trying to make it though their Cinco De Mayo happy hour party and still load up on free chips and salsa.

Some of you might be thinking “hey I drink that I’m not _________!” You people are wrong, you’re _________ as fuck and you know it. Stop drinking weak shit and get some good beer because if you’re going to get drunk as fuck why pump yourself full of crap? You think race cars run on am/pm gas? No. Step your game up and buy some beer that will really wreck your shit up tomorrow morning. Fuck what any stoner says, hangovers are just another notch in the belt of a person who has proved that they can beat the shit out of any bitch ass hemp necklace."

I can't say that I agree with the piece in its entirety because drinking whiskey is hardbody. But your selection in beverage probably does carry with it some social stereotypes whether intentional or not.

Just be aware that if you drink too much Makers Mark you'll be dancing in your living room to Madonna with an overly aggressive gay flight attendant who is a celebrity on the internet and waking up questioning your sexuality and wondering why you let so many douche bags smoke cigarettes in your apartment while trying to fix a $600 plumbing problem with $3.89 worth of parts from the local hardware store.

Dude...

Train: Dude, I'm scared about last night.

Me: Why?

Train: I almost turned gay.

Me: You were dancing with Samwell all night.

Train: It was a lot more than that!

Throwback

Tight on Time

Thank you angry shoe throwing guy !!!

Jumpin' the gun Kush

Cookin Soul - Hung Up On My Baby (Issac Hayes Tribute)

Before you click on the pic to the right, let me tell you that I worked for the man being honored and he was in fact a great boss. I'd have to agree with many of the comments being made about him.

I'll also tell you that Peep My Words fam A. Kushner is good dude, currently doing big things out in Taiwan. Start reading at the bottom of the wall posts and work your way up....Kush makes a small mistake.

OMG Celebrity Sighting

Yesterday I was sitting at starbucks doing, you know, the usual: studying, pretending to study, and eye humping everything that doesn't look like a case book, horn book, or licensing agreement (yes that includes things like coffee, women, chairs, etc.) Anyways at some point a rotund man walked in with a few female escorts. It took me a few minutes, but i figured out why he looked familiar. it's because I watched his show for like 8 hours on the day before thanksgiving. I'll admit that i was kinda excited to see him, but definitely not as excited as a few random others. Several people walking past the starbucks knocked on the windows and mouthed that they loved him. A few of these people actually came inside and got an autograph and a photo.

First of all, I don't understand approaching celebrities just to say hi or to request an autograph, especially this dude. Often times the "hi's" and "hello's" are interrupting. Do you really want this person that you clearly like to think that you're an obnoxious and rude idiot who bothers people? Is it that important that a person on tv (or in the movies) says hello back to you? Secondly, an autograph? Really? You really want someone to write their name on a napkin or a piece of paper? What is this proof of, other that you may have said hello to said celebrity? Jesus christ why would anyone else care or need proof that you ran into a famous person?

(Tangent thought, I would hate being a famous person. It's probably nice getting a table with no wait, but I bet its worst thing in the world to try to eat at that table and be constantly interrupted.)

That being said, I did want to ask him a question about this fruit called the durian. It supposedly tastes like ass and heaven at the same time. Also in several countries its illegal to take into hotels and public transportation because the stench is so formidable. I wanted to ask him because he has a tried a ton of gross shit, but he wasn't able to stomach this fruit. Anyways, i didn't have a chance to approach him because i didn't want to interrupt. You can call me polite or a pussy, but at least you can't call me a douchebag.

Not wasting any time

http://wisconsinsportsblogs.blogspot.com/2008/12/new-york-media-welcomes-cc.html

Christ, the New York media not fucking around when it comes to going negative. Shocking that CC was reluctant to play there.

Want your kids to grow up to be degenerate gamblers?

Get 'em started young! (And teach them to sit on the toilet backwards at the same time!)

Okay, Nas. Hip Hop Is Now Officially Dead.

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/148064-jimmy-fallon-confirms-the-roots-as-late-night-band

A safe way to laugh.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Our Governor Makes Mayor Carcetti Look Like a Choir Boy

This is a really juicy read if you have an hour:

http://images.salon.com/politics/war_room/2008/12/09/blagojevich_complaint/pr1209_01a.pdf

It seems as though we have a giant douchebag running the great state of Illinois, a giant douchebag who loves dropping f-bombs.

Who is Senate Candidate 5? Do you think he knows Customer Number 9?

Uncle L at it again.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122878081364889613.html

Jamz

Note: This and the previous post went on the site at pretty much exactly the same time, with no convo between the two posters. A Peep My first I believe.

I hate when that happens...

A nice return to form by the SNL/Lonely Island folks. Cameo City here. Props to Horton on this one.

One Thing You Don't Want to Hear at the Doctor's Office

(As I learned on Friday)

"I have small hands and I just clipped my fingernails this morning, so it's not going to be too bad, but..."

Remember when you were afraid to admit that you weren't sure, cuz you KNOW for sure MAN

Thursday, Thanksgiving night and we're all at Mondays because we're super full but not full enough that we can't get blackout with our friends who are in town from really far away, like Milwaukee and Chicago...

So let's set the scene: MC Ec Collins Dyke and I are catching up as the Mills walk in...A Mills* walks past and smiles at us.

Liz to Ec: Fuck! Which Mills is that?

Ec: Oh, dude, c'mon - it's Grant. (He says it ease and with sheer confidence and even a twinge of, 'how would you not know that - fuckin eastsider')

Liz: How do you know though, like really know?

Ec: ...I mean. Actually, I don't.

Turns out it was Adam.

Minutes later in his usual completely overly confident fashion, Triller boldly identified Grant as Grant and tried to chastise Ec and I for getting it wrong...

Grant: Yea! What up Triller!

Triller: See, (pointing at us) they can't tell you guys apart like I can, I knew it was you in two seconds!

Grant: No, yea. It's not annoying at all when people confuse us. Constantly. But yea, I'm Adam.

So you see my friends, it's not as easy as it looks. Oh yea Thompson? Try it...










* Not sure which Mills it was
** Get serious with your guesswork, I'm posting the answers in the days to follow.
Boooooiiiiiiing!

R U Still Down?

Scarface - Emeritus

Every year it baffles me how unnoticed the early portion of the college basketball season goes. The average fan doesn't seem to have a pulse on things until after the New Year, once conference play is underway. By average fan I don't just mean the casual observers, but plenty of folks who are fully immersed in the season once February and March hit. The last couple of months of the season are as good as it gets in sports, but that doesn't mean the early schedule should be ignored. With a glut of interesting non-conference matchups and tournaments, it's not too late to wake up and enjoy the entirety of the season.

For those of us with a rooting interest in Wisconsin sports specifically, we should be embracing any and all college ball. The Pack are done folks, let that shit go. UW will cap off a highly disappointing football season in a few weeks, but shouldn't command much more than those few hours of your life in the meantime. Let's instead stop fuckin around and look at UW bball. Leading off the Big 10-ACC Challenge in grand fashion, UW escaped a furious rally at Va. Tech with a victory behind a last second shot by Trevon Hughes. Here's the call from Matt Lepay, one of the best around:



Here's the spectacular video:



Off to a 6-1 start (the lone loss coming to #2 UCONN), it should be a fun year for all involved. While the remainder of the non-conference schedule has a handful of the typical tuneup games, they play @ Marquette on Saturday and host Texas on Dec. 23. If you are not up on these games, please don't bother with the rest of the season. The Big 10 opener comes on New Years Eve (1 PM) @ Michigan. With all of that in mind, let's take a closer look at this (mostly) young roster:

Rotation:

• PG: Trevon Hughes (Junior) - Off to a very nice start this year, playing generally very controlled ball and hitting some huge shots. When he plays well we got a shot against most. Bo still hasn't quite handed over the reigns a la Devin Harris, but he's on his way.

• SG: Jason Bohannon (Junior) - A couple nice games but has largely struggled with his shot. I expect it to come around eventually, but without his shooting he don't bring a ton to the table.

• SF: Joe Krabbenhoft (Senior) - As always, does some of everything very well...except consistent scoring and perimeter shooting. Look folks, he ain't Mike Miller, it's time to move on from that comparison. Hasn't quite stepped up into that defensive stopper role vacated by Michael Flowers, but as important as anyone to their success this year.

• PF: Marcus Landry (Senior) - Playing the best and most consistent ball of his career. Off to a torrid start shooting 3s and blocking shots. Some would like to see him average 18-20 ppg, but he has never been selfish enough to do that. As long as he takes over when he needs to, I'm cool wit it.

• C: Keaton Nankivil (Sophomore) - Coming off a mostly wasted Freshman season, dude has shown some flashes but hasn't had a large impact. Projecting as a similar style player to Mike Wilkinson, I like his potential and length but it may not be til next year that he puts up some consistent numbers

• 6th: Jon Leuer (3-5, Sophomore) - Had some huge games this year and can score from pretty much anywhere on the court. Will present matchup problems for almost any team he plays and along with Hughes probably projects better than anyone on the team at the NBA level.

• 7th: Tim Jarmusz (2-3, Sophomore) - Similar to Krabbenhoft in that he does some of everything, but unlike Krabby gives you a nice perimeter shot. Get ready to see plenty of him over the next couple of years, as the announcers fawn over his toughness and intangibles.

• 8th: Jordan Taylor (1, Freshman) - Plays more minutes at PG than I'd expect from a Freshman. Well-built and a good defender. Smart offensively and has flashed some skills, but struggled with UCONN's pressure and has yet to hit his jumper consistently.

• 9th: Rob Wilson (2-3, Freshman) - Rounding out this 9-man rotation, Wilson has been fun to watch and could easily project as one of the main offensive pieces for years to come. Fearless going to the hoop and always aggressive (sometimes to the point of being out of control), Bo has also shown faith in Rob's jumper, running set plays for him. Fun.

Ummm...Projects and Other

• Kevin Gullikson (4-5, Senior) - Uncle L's favorite, Gullikson has literally barely played since his mutliple run-ins with the popo. He came into this season in the best shape of his career (cut down on the beer, been drinkin only vodka waters), but has seemingly finally been passed up by the scholarship players (he was, after all, a walk-on).
  
• Ian Markolf (5, Freshman) - Big haus from San Antone, TX who has already played, thus won't be redshirting. Maybe some spot minutes to eat some fouls, but see ya in a year or two buddy.
• Jared Berggren (4-5, Freshman) - Another big, white dude, this one from Minny. On track to potentially redshirt.
• JP Gavinski (5, Sophomore) - Having been in the program going on 3 years now, my hopes are not high for ol' JP. Upon reading last year that coaches were encouraged that he made it up and down the court a few times without having to be pulled, i kinda gave up. He is a lefty though, so I respect it.
• Ryan Evans (2-3, Freshman) - Great athlete outta AZ, but will be redshirting. Look for some dunking from him down the line.
• Wquinton Smith (1, Sophomore) - A very short walk-on, similar to old pal Tanner. I'm pretty sure he'll never log minutes in a NCAA tournament game though.
• Brett Valentyn (2, Sophomore) - Reminds me of Bret "The Hitman" Hart. All I got.
• Morris Cain (2-3, Senior) - The end of a long line of Nicolet athletes at UW that shouldn't ever play (BJ Tucker, Tanner, okay kinda short line). Reminds me of Michael Redd in every sense but the ability to play basketball.

For more on UW bball throughout the year, peep The Chris West Baskeball Journal and Hoops Marinara.

NHL Rules

Hitting someone in the groin with a stick: two minute penalty

Punching someone in the face: five minute penalty

Saying "sloppy seconds": indefinite suspension (announced today)

At a Loss For Gift Ideas?

The annaul AV Club holiday gift guide may help:

http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/hope_in_a_box_the_a_v_clubs

BiPolar Bear...A Day in the Life

Bi Polar Bear - Collecting Wishes

For those of you who aren't familiar with BiPolar Bear (BPB, Horton & August, etc.), a primer is coming soon. In the meantime, check out this spectacular and hot off the motherfucking presses video by David Seerman (also known as Dee to those who know him...I don't). This is a look at a day in the life of BiPolar Bear, really with terrific accuracy. The song is "Collecting Wishes" off August's instrumental opus The Creep, which you can get for free here. The BPB LP Strange Passengers is also available for free here.

Mashups [Cont.]

Personal favorite: The Knife

take a free ride

Sorry to turn this blog into a Megabus advertisement, but I have round-trip chicago/milwaukee tickets (leaving chi 930am & leaving mil 7pm) every weekday through Dec.14th that I can't use.

If anyone wants any of them hit me: chrisjamesthompson@gmail.com

Speaking of Mashups

This series of Girl Talk videos is amazing.

"What It's All About"



"In Step"



"Like This"

Law Students Are The Coolest!

On Sunday, I sent the following e-mail to my mock trial group (two teams of two) expressing a preference to meet as a group on Friday to make our final preparations for our Saturday trial:

Tehseen and I have discussed this, and we would like to meet with you two on Friday. That way we can run over everything a couple times and debate any objections. Tehseen and I are going to meet on Thursday together and then with our senior partner to go over our case. I think it would a waste of everyone's time to share our "script" with you until after we've done that and made the ensuing revisions.

This is the immediate response of a group member who had previously expressed a preference to meet on Wednesday:

Hi, everyone.

Alex, I think your email is setting a really tense tone for our entire group.

Even Professor Lubet encouraged cooperation and all the 3Ls who have taken it have reiterated that getting together with the opposing counsel is a good idea. The highest grades go to the smoothest running and fastest trials.

As much as you don't want to think so, this is still like a performance. The best way we can EACH show our mastery of the material is to put our best food forward. I don't see any reason why we shouldn't meet and chat.

We're not trying to steal each other's ideas or undermine anyone by cooperating. We're just running through our scripts with each other and giving input-- Oh, I'd object here with X; you'd respond with Y; etc.

It's NOT that much harder in terms of work. It's NOT demanding either. And we will learn a ton from each other. It's actually really helpful and it makes each of our examinations better in terms of quality, how tight our questions are, and how prepared we are.

And another thing-- this is Tehseen and my last "group project" for NU Law. It's not cool to have our last group project become such an unenjoyable and up-tight process.

And if this is all a misunderstanding, can we chat about this? Because this is becoming a really irritating process (not so much the work, but the group interaction) when all Adam and I want to do is make it a better process for everyone.

- Shannon