KG vs. DB

Confirmed: gotta keep CV after this

Fuck You Makers Mark

Seriously, go fuck yourself.

Proof that if there is a god, he has a cruel sense of humor ...

I present you with goats falling over:

Conan Baseball Reenactment

East coast Conan finale

A great finale:
-John Mayer "LA's going to eat you alive"
-The free'ing of Abe
-1860's baseball re-enactment
-Will Ferrell
-Andy Richtor & montages
-The White Stripes 'We're gonna be friends'
... last 12 minutes is just Conan thanking people

final show

Racism/antigay/antisemitism: Bloop! It's FOX NEWS!!!!!!

Soooooooooooo, it's been made a fact by daddy fat sacks (aka notorious B.I.G) that upon finding Ace & Gary's recent thespian work, I had to have been watching High School Reunion on the TV LAND channel. Fuck. Deny it/admit it/deny/admit it?????????

Fine. You win. Guess what else I do? Find clips like this:

Exploitation or stellar reporting?! The Anchor introducing it is really the best part.

REALLY??

BY NEW YORK POST CARTOONIST

...Like a grey squirrel I just wanna POUNCE ON!

Oh hey there. Wanna check out what Ace & Gary have been up to?
Neat. Get ready to urinate. Peep the video on the far right for laughter induced laughter.

http://www.tvland.com/prime/shows/cougar/

CNN self-deprecating ?

I hate to step on Gee's return (especially since I just - for the first time in 6 years - understood the 'Wee-Bey' Wire reference), but seriously, does anyone else think the sale of these shirts equates to an admission that CNN is no more hard-hitting than The Onion ??



Substantially more ridiculous headlines available here. Get them while they're dumb. Or don't.

I Knew it would pay-off some day!

I am that. True indeed. To quote our good friend the Ghostface Killah,
"Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Mu' Fucka, Uh-huh."



Also, I just wanted to pop by and say hello. I'm back safe and sound in beautiful Buenos Aires and now joining the masses in looking for work. Fun. We be in touch. Peace to the Gods.

Oh yeah, how could I forget, maybe some of you are up on this but if you're not you're in for a smile. It's Obama, it certainly sounds real to me, reading some of the more colorful passages from Dreams From My Father.

http://www.aprilwinchell.com/wp-content/cache/supercache/www.aprilwinchell.com/2009/02/05/barack-obama-is-tired-of-your-motherfucking-shit/index.html

"You ain't my B, N, Buy Your Own Damn Fries!!!!" Teddy.

Atlantic's Archives

Every couple of weeks the Atlantic Monthly decides to treat the world to some fruit of its past laborers. Most recently, in honor of Darwin's 200th Birthday, they've released their 1860's review of the Origin of Species.

Fiscally Conservative, Sexually Liberal

Valentines day is here and you forgot to make reservations to your favorite restaurant for you and your girl, she still hasn’t quite forgiven you for that Chris Brown inspired beating / biting you put on her the other night and Barack's stimulus plan ain’t making your wallet swell no time soon. Time to get creative.

Skip the Russel Stovers this year and get her what she really wants…a new mixtape guaranteed to break your rewind buttons and keep her panties wet. Let your mind travel to a simpler time where you could turn a 5 pack of maxells and a Columbia House music subscription in to a masterpiece guaranteed to get you a mediocre handjob in the back of your parent’s station wagon.

Just in time for your boot knockin’, panty dropping, baby making bedroom playlists tomorrow night. All of your favorite slow jams from the 90’s together in one collection perfect to get your bubble bath and back rub on.




1. H-Town: Knockin’ Da Boots
2. Janet Jackson: Love Scene (Ooh Baby)
3. Keith Sweat: Nobody
4. Ready for the World: Love you Down
5. Janet Jackson: Would you mind
6. Ginuwine: So Anxious
7. Toni Braxton: You’re making me high
8. R. Kelly: Bump N’ Grind (Remix)
9. Silk: Freak Me
10. TLC: Red Light Special
11. Mercedes: I can Tell
12. Usher: Nice & Slow
13. Something for the people: My love is the Shhh
14. Tony! Toni! Toné!: Lay your head on my pillow
15. Jodeci: Feenin’
16. Boyz II Men: I’ll make love to you


Download

Joaquin, I'm Sorry You Couldn't Be Here Tonight

I'm not sure if the joke's on Joaquin Phoenix, David Letterman, or the audience, but this is pure comedy nonetheless.

Dos a cero

dropping knowledge real quick

in soccer only the goalie can use his hands. we all know this.

every 4 years we have the world cup. 2 years before teams start the qualifying process by region. not too many know this.

tonight is the 3rd time ('09, '05, '01) usa has taken on mexico in columbus ohio. less nationalized mexicans in ohio than texas etc. and it's dead cold this time of the year. 2 items that favor usa.

tonight usa wins again 2-0. 3rd consecutive time we win at home with the same score. check that shit out. not an easy task. crowd was going wild and rubbing it in with mexican chants. ole ole ole. and punto (bitch).

youtube some highlights if you want. here's a link to make it all official:
http://www.ussoccer.com/articles/viewArticle.jsp_12648448.html

world cup 2010 south africa; whose coming with me?

Oh Crap ... We've All Been Fooled

It turns out our President works for the KGB.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=88439

Michael Cera heart stomping

Michael Cera gets fired from Knocked Up from Judd Apatow

Need To Lose Some Weight?

B. willy on Conan last Thursday

Brian Williams is fucking hilarious. Click here and go to the 2nd dot.

Puppy Kickers in Full Effect

Stimulate the economy by kicking some puppies:

Puppy Kickers Store

Barack Gettin Dirty

http://thephoenix.com/BLOGS/phlog/archive/2009/02/05/barack-obama-is-tired-of-this.aspx

His hbo show kinda sucked, but his wife was hot

Louis CK on Conan. Great great shit.

Mark that under who gives a shit.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

In honor of Mad Men's Jon Hamm guesting on 30 Rock, here's a great interview with him and Zack Galifianakis.

Bonus Galifianakis:

Dog Bites Man

Meet Alan Finger

More Funny Videos
Comedians on Tour

Get Funny Ringtones
Stand-Up Comedy

Meet his character Alan Finger from the relatively recent yet completely forgotten show Dog Bites Man...look out for "Up In Them Guts" around the 1:30 mark.

"Come On and Get It (Up In Them Guts)" ft. Fiona Apple (audio link)

But how will the CEOs pay for their helicopter fuel?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/04/business/04pay.html?_r=2&hp

“That is pretty draconian — $500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus,” said James F. Reda, founder and managing director of James F. Reda & Associates, a compensation consulting firm.

Watch this and laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs&eurl=http://theoriginalwinger.com/2009-02-03-dentist-office-recovery

And people wonder why we're here (economically speaking)?

I think we should amend the constitution to provide that to represent your state or district you must score at least a 95% on an exam that tests economic, history, civics, geopolitics, math, and general intelligence. The fact that this guy is not only talking about this point on the house floor, but also made TWO charts demonstrating this stupid stupid point makes me want to vomit.

Speaking of On-Set Tirades

Here's a classic from the set of I Heart Huckabees. I almost soiled myself at 1:57.

A Lesson for Our PA Uncle L

Christian Bale loses his fucking mind towards the director of photography on the set of Terminator Salvation..."We are done professionally!"

http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/02/02/nsfw-christian-bale-flips-out-on-terminator-salvation-set/

A Rock Album? Great Idea, Lil' Wayne!

Wow. This song is absolutely terrible. If this is the first single, how bad will the filler be?

http://www.supload.com/listen?s=RP9PJt

SNL makin moves in the funny biz