You gotta vote for Joe Springs after this one......

Brother Ali -The Rope-A-Dope *Talkin My Shit*

A hot new joint for yo ass.

Erik James Horvat-Markovic

I'm not sure if any of you have seen The Pickup Artist on VH1, but my roomate just introduced me and I'm captivated.

I thought for a while about writing my usual snarky and pessimistic opinion on why this TV show reitorates why we as Americans should all kill ourselves, but a quick peak around the blogosphere shows the rant has already been ranted - many, many, many times.

Instead I'll simply recommend you check this show out, if for no other reason than to find out how a 37-year-old Canadien, born Erik James Horvat-Markovic, has converted his original love for Dungeons & Dragons and magic into the supposed ability to sleep with any woman on Earth within minutes. Oh - and his name is now Mystery, and his co-host is named Matador:



Other than gunning his comedic overuse of 'accessories' and layered pirate cloaks, I think the main reason the show is so captivating is because it inspires the simple counter-exercise of trying to devise a plan for truly testing Mystery's ability to 'target, seduce, and close' on any genuinely intelligent, secure woman that didn't A) know he was rich B) want a drink C) know he was on national television. (We all know even Oprah is sucking mystery dicks for money, drinks, and fame).

This morning I stumbled upon this article on Salon which includes an interview with Mystery. It wasn't until a few minutes after I had finished reading it that I realized Clark-Flory's volley of questions had eliminated any interest I had in the show beforehand. Proving this guy is a clucker would probably be about as enjoyable as kicking the shit out of him at a game of Dungeons & Dragons and stealing one of his many colorful medallions.

We seriously have the coolest friends in the world !!!

Possibly the best text I have ever received:

"Ill eat your family son! Merry Christmas to your family."

-Dubb

This holiday season will be 100% greatness. Word up.

LL Vs. Rakim + KRS

I don't know what Budden is talking about, but I agree with DJ dude having a smoke.....

Boss Hog Egg Nog

The homey Tyler Kerkowitz from Milwaukee in the new J-Zone video.

Guiness Book Of World Records' Longest Grin Ever.

Very reminiscent to D. Harris the other day between the cheerleaders !!

Best of the Best

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Have a great life fatso.

Count Bass D - Gio Any (I Cold Just Came In)

Credit to Mirk for passing this along. It's not completely clear if it's real, but based on Rahm Emanuel's rep it certainly not far fetched. Great shit.

Wiretap on line 312-XXX-XXXX
November 10th, 2008
12:42 PM Eastern Time
Rush transcript:

RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.

EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.

BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...

EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.

BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting
names. Good people. How's the transition going?

EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to
fucking tell me anything, or what, cause I--

BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks
already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--

EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov,
you know that.

BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger
here.

EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a
stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking
business to take this fucking phone call?

BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.

EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being
fucking busy. Now what did you call about?

BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret]
still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of
priority that is for the President-Elect.

EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second
thoughts about the job.

BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?

EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more
details, you ask her.

BLAGO: She won't take my calls.

EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.

BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?

EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean
governor? A.) You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking
asshole. C.) All of the above.

BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking
Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he
had shit to go on?

EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we
really don't give a shit.

BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?

EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm
not gonna fucking kiss your ring over it.

BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're
talking about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than
appreciation.

EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking
list, you want to make your own list then make your own
fucking list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for
anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can
fucking stop talking right now Rod.

BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute.
Who are you to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.

EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking
joking.

BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this
list I got, the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for
the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that?
Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?

HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?

BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?

[Whirring, shredder noise]

HARRIS (muffled): I did.

EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?

BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.

EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking
speakerphone? Who the fuck do you think I am?

BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear
me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any
more.

EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.

BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck
you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that
Rahm? How you gonna explain that to fucking Barack, every
time he's gotta call me up for my fucking vote. He'd have to
take my calls then, wouldn't he?

EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!

BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your
attention now, didn't I?

EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second
Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the
last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are fucking
dead to me. You been fucking dead to Barack since '06, now
you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're
dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these
friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten
foot fucking pole.

BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.

EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

BLAGO: Fuck you!

EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan,
maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally
brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going
through your head. You won't know the hows or the fucking
whys, but it's gonna have my fucking fingerprints all over
it. Have a great life fatso.

BLAGO: Hey fuck--

EMANUEL: [Click.]

End of conversation


Bonus: Andy Samberg as Emanuel on an un-aired SNL skit:

An attempt to bury the previous post

Serg from beerandrap and OhWord drops some knowledge on drinking beer:

"I like beer because drinking beer shows dedication and perseverance. Drinking liquor is for bitch ass motherfuckers who can’t commit to drunkness. Doing shots is cute but I’m in this game for the long run. I’m not going to cheat myself by throwing back shots with mall pussy because I know that there is no better sense of accomplishment than waking up on your living room floor with your face a little crusty surrounded by a mountain of empty beer cans that you just destroyed the fuck out of.

Drinking beer with people can teach you a shitload of crap that books and shit can not. For instance you can learn a lot about a person by what they drink. Take dudes that drink Bud Light, those guys are usually fucking bitches. If you’re going to drink shitty beer then drink real shitty beer, like Pabst or fucking Busch. Speaking of shitty beer, we have the High Life dudes. They are a strange one because in some cities it’s a hipster beer, although PBR seems to reign king with girlpants that don’t want to put too much of a dent into their art school allowance (in other locales High Life is also frequented by this group). Thing is that in other cities High Life is just another shitty beer, like Milwaukee’s Best, that broke high school kids drink for cheap. Then we have the dudes who drink Coors; those guys are usually racist assholes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drink Coors Light in public. That shit is an embarrassment to pussies everywhere.

Guys who drink Keystone are usually retarded or they wear white hats, Ambercrombie shirts, and say bro a lot. Not to be confused with Natural Ice drinkers who don’t say bro as much. But the thing about Natural Ice is that when it is sold in the tall can you will usually find a 30’s something black male named Jimmy drinking it. Jimmy works for the city and can get you a backhoe on Sundays to clear out your ditch for about twenty bucks and some cold ones. Jimmy is cool as fuck and will even by your underaged ass some brews too if you give him a ride over to the store on east 29th(thanks Jimmy).

Then we come to the Michelob guys, who the fuck buys this shit? Those are the dudes who think beer is yucky but buy this shit because they thought those commercials from the 80’s were sophisticated. Budwieser is the beer that even if you don’t like it you learn to drink it because you can’t get away from that shit. Everyone from your mom to nascar fans drinks this shit. Oh and Budweiser Select is the new Michelob but for people who don’t remember those shitty commercials or Pontiac Fiero’s. There is also fucking Killigans Red and Pete’s Wicked. These beers are usually drunk by high school kids who wish to be more sophisticated than their High Life counterparts. Their fathers were probably Michelob drinkers. Rolling Rock is for the athletic types who prefer their beer to be more like water with faint aftertaste. Rolling Rock light is for the people these types fuck in the ass. Corona is for white people who are really trying to make it though their Cinco De Mayo happy hour party and still load up on free chips and salsa.

Some of you might be thinking “hey I drink that I’m not _________!” You people are wrong, you’re _________ as fuck and you know it. Stop drinking weak shit and get some good beer because if you’re going to get drunk as fuck why pump yourself full of crap? You think race cars run on am/pm gas? No. Step your game up and buy some beer that will really wreck your shit up tomorrow morning. Fuck what any stoner says, hangovers are just another notch in the belt of a person who has proved that they can beat the shit out of any bitch ass hemp necklace."

I can't say that I agree with the piece in its entirety because drinking whiskey is hardbody. But your selection in beverage probably does carry with it some social stereotypes whether intentional or not.

Just be aware that if you drink too much Makers Mark you'll be dancing in your living room to Madonna with an overly aggressive gay flight attendant who is a celebrity on the internet and waking up questioning your sexuality and wondering why you let so many douche bags smoke cigarettes in your apartment while trying to fix a $600 plumbing problem with $3.89 worth of parts from the local hardware store.