Lil' Jon Welcomes you to Lazzzzy Town

Get Lazy.

Letterman on the Palin Turkey Fiasco

This woman is a comedy pipeline.

Maybe He Was Holding Out For A Terrorist Fist Jab

Wednesday is almost here!

Guns N' Roses - Better

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/90560

Well apparently everyone has their pre-Thanksgiving reunions. I actually enjoy these for the most part, certainly plenty of folks that you haven't seen in a grip.

That being said, I don't care much for trying to remember people's names after a handful of drinks and then being called out for not knowing. Really? Does anyone win in that scenario? Who feels good after that revelation? I certainly don't need it.

The standard small talk/life update also gets old pretty quickly. Talkin to friends who actually have some interest in what you're up to is great and I'm glad to fill them in. But the inevitable 10-73 convos you'll have with dude from chem com (for us science idiots) or that girl from drivers ed can be a struggle. Maybe it's my fault for failing to have something unique or interesting to say to every person I've ever encountered in my life, but here are the basics you'll get just in case you'd like to go the "say what up and move on" route:

• Still livin in Chi, visit anytime!
• Still workin at the same place, pretty fucking sweet!
• Hey, I got a girl now, she's great. You def gotta meet her, maybe when you visit!
• Holiday plans = sleeping, drinking, sleeping, video games, drinking, dvds, tv, drinking, sleeping, snowballs, sleds, eating, sleeping.
• Yeah, still doin the music thing, bout to drop the next album in the spring. BPB motherfuckers!
• No, my dog who humped your leg back in the day is no longer with us. She had a long and fruitful life. If Uncle L is in the vacinity when this is brought up he will pop some shit and I will punch him in the face. Real talk.
  
• Yeah we're still playing our annual Thanksgiving football game. About 30 people claim they're coming, it'll be the best ever! (four will come)
• Time for a new drink/I'll catch up with ya in a little bit/fake text message or phone call...see ya next year!
  

"Oh yeah. I know you're gonna like this."

In case any of you haven't seen this classic:

What they eat don't make us shit, Real Talk!

I thought I was done posting about Palin...

But this clip is just too priceless to pass up.

Just Your Typical Assault With A Hedgehog

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10513373

Never too old for a drinking ticket!

So...football Saturday this past week. Colorado State versus New Mexico: a bowl game in the making if I've ever heard of one! For those who don't know, Megan (my girlfriend) is an athletic training staff member at Colorado State, so I get a lot of free tickets. This was a noon game, so, now nearly 26 years old, my ritual has changed since college football Saturdays at UW. Now the ritual includes 17 presses of the snooze button, 3 Pepto Bismol tablets and atleast 3 glasses of water (one fizzing with Alka Seltzer). After that I typically sit in the shower for about half an hour trying to convince myself that 10am is a reasonable time to awake on a weekend, and trying to remember what I did to deserve the beaded butterfly ring I apparently inherited the night before. I used to be the one handing out jello shots at 8am....what has happened? Anyway, I put on enough team (green) colors to be accepted, but not too many to become the creepy old guy in the student section; I grab the remainder of my thirty-pack of High-Life from the night before and head out to tailgate. Of course, a pint of vodka is a necessity for any high-octane social outing, so I stop at my favorite liquor store to grab some McCormick's. Luckily Megan gave me a staff parking pass, so I didn't have to wait in the ridiculously long car line, bordered by every cop in the city. Once in, I immediately slammed half of the pint to give me that baseline buzz necessary for a football game (for those of you unversed--that's 4 shots). Now this stadium, while it is beautifully set against the Rocky Mountains is a glorified high school stadium. Kind of a joke that it is considered Division-1, as it looks more like a remodeled version of the stadium from Varsity Blues. Like any good Wisconsin boy, I strategically place 3 cans of beer (as requested by the friends I was meeting) under my belt, and walk in without a wink. Once in, I proceed to devour the two Johnsonville brats that I bought with the cash I got from the lone stadium ATM before even finding our section....Before going any farther, I should note that the two buddies I met for this game, were both football coaches, 6'4" minimum, and seemingly man's men. Once we get seated in the student section, I immediately notice a group of 18-19 year olds passing around a 1.75 of Canadian whiskey, and decide that it's ok to start drinking. We each grab a can, and for half an hour life is grand: horrible football, a belly of brats, and beer in hand, what could be better? Then, without warning, five officers swarm us, arms behind our backs and escort us out of the section (nevermind the kid smoking a bowl standing five people away from me). We are taken up the stairs where I ask if it was ok to either finish, or throw away my beer? To my utter amazement, the answer is...."No, that's evidence now!" Really?!?! So we're taken into a back room and separated. I kid you not, I'm pushed against a wall, told to get on my knees, interlock my fingers behind my head, and my forehead is pressed against the brick wall. During the full search, I try to explain that I'm 25 years old was just drinking a beer, I'm no threat. They confiscated my phone, jacket and hat. After that, I am forced to take a mug shot (in which I give my best smile). Adding a little much needed humor at this point, these large football coach men's men start shaking. I ask if this is their first run-in with police, and for both of them it is. That helped a little, two alpha-men, shaking in the presence of a drinking ticket while of legal drinking age. However, the humor can only last so long; insult to injury was delivered quickly enough. For bringing a beer can into a college football game at 25 years old I was given a Class 2 Misdemeanor....I shit you not. I have a mandatory court date in a month, and hopefully this hick-town judge will realize that meth is probably a better way to accumulate his court fees. To top it all off, while being escorted off the premises in cuffs (yes I was cuffed) I run into two of Megan's athlete's and one of their 5 year old nephews. The end of the parade was given finality when I asked for my belongings to be returned, and upon return the officer asks, "So, just for my notes, it was a can of Miller High Life, right?" To which I reply, "I told you I was from Wisconsin didn't I?!?!" So come December 15, me and my can of Miller High Life will appear before a judge to argue that this was the most ridiculous violation of the law that I have ever been cited for, and I was never read my rights! This just goes to show that you are never too old to get a drinking ticket!! Misdemeanor......FUCK THAT!!!!

Need Some Help, Friends

Hello friendly-friends and friendly-friends of friends,

I'm looking for some help in the form of critical feedback on a film I've been editing for the past year. The film is called 'The Making of The Pool' and will eventually be a special feature on the DVD for The Pool, to be released next year.

Basically, I'd love to have some of you watch it and tell me what parts are interesting, which parts are confusing, which parts are boring, etc...

If you're not a fan of these 'making-of' featurettes on DVDs this probably isn't for you, but if you are interested (and have 70 minutes to burn), drop me an email with your address and I'll mail you a DVD.

chrisjamesthompson@gmail.com

Love!