What the fuck is a Barack?

Allakazam!

B-Town Schedule (w/ Revisions)

The Sad/Hilarious State of the Bucks

Credit due to Bogut for having a sense of humor and being the only guy worth anything anymore on this team. Let's tear the roof off the mothersucker.

Ironic name and/or face???

http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/flyer.do?personId=36007

23 Flavors....

"Many have tried, but so far nobody has been able to pry the decade-in-the-works Guns N' Roses album "Chinese Democracy" from the hands of lone remaining original member Axl Rose.

Now, Dr Pepper thinks it's up to the challenge. The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to "everyone in America" (excluding ex-GNR members Slash and Buckethead) if "Chinese Democracy" arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008." - Billboard.com

More Here

and here

This is probably a pretty safe bet for Dr. Pepper, if this album even really exists it's never coming out. I'm imagining he probably ran out of money along time ago so I don't know why something would some how change now.

“As far as I’m concerned, Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper still doesn’t have enough shit going on. I need Caffeine-Free Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper—no, no, no, I need Cool Ranch Extreme Caffeine-Free Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper. And baked. And, I want a sticker on it telling kids that drugs are bad.” - Bill Maher

C'mon Eddie, How Many More of These?

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/eddie_murphy_is_just_fucking_with

This certainly can't be a surprising development, but each one of these kills another small piece of me. Thanks Ed.

Master Card Commercial

Entrance Fee to Sports Bar: $3
5 Shots of Jameson: $20
2 Bottles of Cooks Champagne: $30
Walking out of the bathroom and wondering who the two dudes are in beaters (one in a g-unit beater) throwing their "shirts around their head like helicopters" in one hand and Cooks in the other to Petey Pablo in the middle of the dance floor and then realizing its Josh and Thompson: Priceless

FREE JAE-DUBB

Fuck....

Fuck Hubert Davis, Fuck Marquette, Fuck Indiana, Fuck Doug Gottlieb, Fuck Duke, Fuck Michael Beasley, Fuck Purdue, Fuck Digger Phelps, Fuck Georgetown and / or Davidson. Fuck all of you that picked Wisconsin to lose in the second round, I hope your bracket is fucked. Shout outs to Greg Stiemsma "The Randolph Renegade", he doesn't even have to jump to shoot.

FYM: Tournament Edition

N.W.H. - Come and Pet the P.U.S.S.Y.


Welcome to Fuck Y'all Muafuckas: Tournament Edition. That FYM would be directed towards all you fucks who think you know a goddamn thing about the NCAA Tournament. From Digger Phelps to Doug Gottlieb, from dude next to me on the train to any girl. You are all full of shit in your own unique way and I've had enough, so here's my version. Let's start with the do's and dont's of the NCAA Tournament:

• DO go somewhere, anywhere new to watch the 1st weekend of games. Staying home and treating this weekend like any other random slate of college ball is unacceptable and boring as fuck. From Windsor to Vegas to Ann Arbor, the random spots I've hit during this weekend have only added to the experience. You have to work harder to find the right place to be at, but once you do, being faded in a strange place with a bunch of unknowns beats the shit out of the imprint in your couch.

• Speaking of Vegas, DON'T watch games at a sports book unless you show up several hours before the first game. The atmosphere is def. fun and full of degenerate fuckers like yourself, but if you don't get a seat you spend more time focused on swooping than the games.

• DO value rooting for your squad(s) to do something fun and pick them to do so. You know why, because you aren't gonna win that pool you're in, you're not, you won't, you will not. No, you don't have to pick your team to do unreasonable, crazy things, but if you are on the fence about a match-up, just fucking pick them to advance. Could WVU very well beat AZ in the 1st round? Why yes, they are favored in fact. Would I ever in my life pick that to happen? Absolutely not. Could USC take out UW in the 2nd round? Well certainly, but I would (do something insane, choose your own adventure here) rather than make that pick.

• DON'T assume that going to a day/weekend of games is a good idea. Maybe you'll end up with a bunch of great match-ups and some memorable, life-changing, Hollywood scripted, spectacular endings. Or not.

Take last year for example, when those dudes I lived with at that weird house went on an impromptu road trip to the NO to see AZ play. Andy and Gabe back in the Creep's homeland, enjoying drinking in the sun, and Jase shopping for cowboy boots and kickin' it with the bums. Drunk, with some cheap tickets that somehow put them close enough to the AZ bench to pass off a copy of their album to Josh Pastner (he's a huge fan), it sounds like the perfect scene. That is, until the game started and they were methodically beaten down by Carl Landry and Purdue. Those close seats ended up being a curse, as they will tell you, as they could see the glazed over eyes of the AZ players who clearly did not give a single fuck.

Or how bout myself and several friends at the United Center last year. With some not-so-cheap tickets, we expected a breezy weekend for UW, coasting their way to the Sweet 16 over Texas A&M Corpus Christi (?) and UNLV. While they rallied from a big deficit to beat A&M CC on the first day, it was clear they were no longer the team that ascended to the #1 ranking in the country just a short time prior. This was a team that peaked too early and hadn't adjusted to Brian Butch's awesome/horrific elbow injury. As Jason Terry's jheri-curled brother/Dru Down's kindred spirit hit the dagger 3, you could feel the death in the air. Up next was Tubby Smith's swan song in a slapping to Kansas, while we all stood in a daze wondering why the fuck we were still there. Fun memories.

• Lastly, DON'T assume that everyone is cool with watching a full day of ball and being content doing so, Grampa Wilson will slap you for that shit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I've seen probably about 70% of the field play at some point this season, I won't pretend to have much of a sense of what these bastards are gonna do. For a comprehensive preview, meaning a bunch of random facts about the teams and not much info that'll actually help your bracket, check out Deadspin. I will, however, share some insight on those I know best, meaning the Big 10 and AZ:

Indiana - Eric Gordon is great and DJ White has finally fulfilled his potential, and will join him next year in the league. While the team seems to have quit on this Dakich idiot (who is a dead man walking), Arkansas' leading scorer Sonny Weems is banged up, so I'll go with IU. Then UNC will serve them to the curb.

• FYM Fun Fact: I may be in IU this weekend, so I'd enjoy a loss by them in either game...or do I want wins for a celebratory campus? I'm confused now.

Purdue - I waited for this squad to fall off all year and it seems to be happening now at the wrong time. They have done far more than was expected this season and I do think they'll end the feel-good story that is Baylor. Had they not scuffled as of late, I may have taken them over Xavier, but I'll pass now.

• FYM Fun Fact: For as much disdain as I have for this school and general confusion as to why anyone would go there or frankly why it exists, I don't have a problem with this collection of players. Except Chris Kramer, fuck that guy.

Michigan St. - Now this is a team that I hate, thank you very much. I'll be thrilled to see the end of Drew Neitzel and Drew Naymick, though I'm sure they have a tall redhead in reserve. Per usual, they were inconsistent enough in the Big 10 season to have no clue what the fuck they will do in the tournament. I would love to see Dionte Christmas (who is cool both in theory and practice) and Temple pull the upset, but I'll say MSU gets by before getting beat by the much tougher and streaking Pitt.

• FYM Fun Fact: I may also be at MSU this weekend, but would like a loss regardless. Me and Mouton will throw fists with anyone there.

So that's 3 teams failing to advance past this weekend, let's move on to something more fun:

Arizona - If you have some affiliation with AZ and a place in your heart for them, this time of year is mass confusion but usually ends in the same way. They are coming off an inconsistent season in which they showed flashes of greatness, mixed in with a helping of apathetic performances. The ratio varies from year to year, but when it gets to tournament time, we can all see them doing great things or nothing at all. In the end, most of us will always have them doing more than makes sense and going on a crazy run.

In that tradition, they will beat WVU and upset Duke as well. I'm not gonna analyze those games specifically, because when it comes down to it they are as talented as most, it's just a question of whether they play up to that talent. Ultimately, teams that are successful in tournament overwhelmingly have multiple future NBA players on their roster. Once again this is the case in AZ with Bayless, Buddinger, Hill and maybe Lil' Wise.

• FYM Fun Fact: I said this the minute he came on as an assistant, but Kevin O'Neill is pretty wack. Here's a good article talking about it. The longer he's around, the less you'll hear about unfulfilled potential because they will just be straight up mediocre.

UW - Well, I've been saving a nice heaping Fuck Y'all Muafuckas for those of you picking against UW in the 2nd round. But ya know what, people just love to do this shit every year, so maybe it's time I got over it. The national perception of UW is not changing anytime soon, so it's time to openly embrace it. All that being said, let me just throw out a few things for you idiots.

Cal St. Fullerton, glad you finally made it back to the tournament, hope you enjoyed Omaha. Next up we have USC or Kansas St. While I have fun with Mayo and Beasley as much as the next fella, the statement that either will take down UW is reflective of pure anti-UW (or the system they play) bias.

K State has literally not beaten a single relevant team since they won at home against Kansas nearly 2 months ago. Beasley is great, but in Durant fashion, his huge numbers have not translated into that great of a team.

USC, my pick to win the 1st round game, has been quite good this year and progressively gotten better. They are inexperienced but their athleticism and perimeter defense could certainly pose some problems for UW. That being said, if you had to pick a team from the Pac-10 that mirrored UW, who would it be? I would say probably Washington St., if nothing else from a system and philosophy perspective. As it turns out, Wash St. beat USC by a combined 39 points, in two games this year. Interesting.

At the end of the day, clearly I'm picking UW regardless. Please sir, just keep in mind that they have not lost to a bad team all year and in their last 26 games, they only lost to Purdue. Sleep if you must, but when it comes to the tournament, sleep is the cousin of death. I think that's what Nas meant anyway.

• FYM Fun Fact: Greg Stiemsma is the team chef and barber. Trevon Hughes likes the eggs he makes in particular.

Craigslist continued

Remember this guy from my craig's list posting? He's the one who hoped that I failed out of school.

re: Craigslist posting


I can not believe that you are actually attempting to have an intern do your law school work for you. This isn't a Seinfeld episode, and I hope that you fail out of school and become a janitor. What the hell is wrong with people today?

Well he actually has a blog as well, and I think he finally got the joke.

This is actually pretty funny. It immediately reminded me of Kramer and his NYU intern attempting to develop a safety bladder for oil tankers. Kramerica Industries was ahead of its time. The best part is that someone actually replied to this listing. I know this because she is featured on this guy’s blog, along with my self.

Everybody is on crack.

I'm still unclear on whether this guy "thinks" or "knows" he's the butt of joke. Anyway his blog is fratdaddy.blogspot.com so yeah. He's the frat daddy. Jesus.

...and KG & Friends

go brewers

Season 5 ... who said it ...

Answers in comments. Post how many you got. Don't look it up or lie. You probably only got 4 ... tops ...

1)"The Bigger the lie, the more they believe." -

2)"This ain't Aruba, bitch." -

3)"They're dead where it doesn't count." —

4)"Buyer's market out there." -

5)"Just 'cause they're in the street don't mean they lack for opinion." —

6)"If you have a problem with this, I understand completely." -

7)"They don't teach it in law school."

8)"A lie ain't a side of a story. It's just a lie."

9)"Deserve got nuthin' to do with it."

10)'... the life of kings.'

be

careful

But did you see...

Crazy Shit Show

Memorial Day Party
Come to Dallas and Create Lasting Memories
Mitz
Causes - Rally
Time and Place
Start Time: Friday, May 23, 2008 at 12:00am
End Time: Monday, May 26, 2008 at 12:00am
Location: Mitz Condo
Street: Downtown Street
City/Town: Dallas, TX

Contact Info
Phone: 9115876326
Email: epmitz@gmail.com
Description: show up, start partying, get faded. throw something off the balcony...repeat throughout the weekend.

Get your motherfucking WAR on!

Yo G's!

I just wanted to make a small post reminding you that your vote is worthless; the next president will do less than 4% of what he promises regardless...

Enjoy the site!

R.I.P.

Visit the Wire graveyard at: http://www.hbo.com/thewire/publicrecord/

What a bnr

Hand Over That Re-Up

RIP Omar Little

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=6889037&ch=4226715&src=news

Check out this show its comedy!!

It's that puke inside of a pumpkin orange...

You can pretty much fill in your least favorite Big 10 team, the Cubs, Duke, etc. Well put, sir.

Knocking Boots

Don't these guys know they are plagiarizing T-murder and my bedroom moves?


.......by the way you can now call me 'pipelayer'

Don't these people know their plagiarizing from Joe n Dubb's parking meter dances?

hope he gets to bring those to jail

too soon?

Hamsterdam

Wire fans and those who don't care, worth peeping this article on the drug war.

The Wire's War on the Drug War (from Time Mag)

you ever experience the new wave, next wave, dream wave, or cyber punks?

remember back in the day when everyone believed the myth that hackers were rebellious punks and not geeks with acne and huge glasses.

Spoiler

In the interest of instant gratification you can stream episode 10 0f the Wire now @ http://www.surfthechannel.com/info/Television/The_Wire/61938/S5E10.html
sorry to ruin your fun on the 90 minute finale.

quick, before mtv plays it every 5 minutes

Take it back to 6th grade

Kevin Garnett Proves He Can Touch Rim

BOSTON—After dozens of practice-session attempts, Boston Celtics center Kevin Garnett proved Tuesday that he could touch the rim of the basket when his middle finger slightly grazed the front edge of the regulation-height goal on the north...

Snoopy & Pals

Still goin' through this new Snoop, so no strong opinion yet. At this point in his career it is unlikely he's gonna put out another great album, particularly when he's goin' 21 tracks deep (as he does here). That being said, the fun of "Sexual Eruption" is well-documented and he starts the album out with some greatness, as you can hear below:


Snoop Dogg - Press Play

This next one is a remake of a Morris Day & The Time song, also done a few years back by Suga Free with a nice result:


Snoop Dogg - Cool

Yeah Bitch.

Ahhhhh.. Nothing more refreshing than taking that first morning sip of fresh brewed herbal green tea, with a spot of honey and a squeeze of fresh lemon zest. Delicious! It's like weening refreshment from the very bosom of mother earth's supple titties. Now I guess I can understand your concerns after reading that, there's nothing really cool about a piping fresh cup of green tea to jumpstart your day but don't worry, It's just sometimes I enjoy engaging in drinking a refreshing and anti-oxidant laced non-alcoholic beverage from time to time. You see, there's more to me than just partying, drug experimentation, and petty criminal violations. To truly understand my constantly warring psyche, you must look deep within my weathered eyes, grab the rat tail of my heart and squeeze with the fervor of a strangling obsessed serial killer. Yeah sure, you may know me as the dude that lobbied FOR the spread of global warming so my apartment would be closer to the shore line, and sure, I have a constantly running mini fridge with nothing more than old half eaten jar of salsa and 2 cans of Miller High Life in it, and yes I also am responsible for ending every relationship in a carefully orchestrated passively aggressive fashion. I've lied, cheated, stole, sinned, slothed, coveted, gluttoned, and abused every vice until they all degenerated into my addictions. But beneath this hardened and chiseled exterior lies a soul as soft as an emotional Sage Francis lyric in the spring time. I recycle, I've watched the movie Hope Floats in it's entirety, and I sometimes go days without showering- that's water conservation at it's finest mother fucker. And yes I am capable of raw human emotion. I am not the cold & callus individual they try to paint me as. I've even cried, For real, I have shed tears of despair. Like I've been trying to tell you, I am human after all. Granted, it was 1998 and it was during the final scene of Braveheart after doing ecstasy for a straight week, but those salty tears prove that I have a flowing river of emotion coursing through my inner most thoughts. Tough rugby dude? Pssssssh! I can be as emo as you're favorite shitty rock band or Jae-Dubb’s haircut. I'm a babbling brook of self contemplation and angst.. So let me sit back and sip my herbal tea while I bump the new Pete Rock until my ears bleed and fuck you for judging my choice of beverage.

Wal-Mart

"According to sources, the Wal-Mart proposal would allow for a promotional program that could comprise the top 15 to 20 hottest titles, each at $10. The rest of the pricing structure, according to several music executives who spoke with Billboard, would have hits and current titles retailing for $12, top catalog at $9, midline catalog at $7 and budget product at $5. The move would also shift the store's pricing from its $9.88 and $13.88 model to rounder sales prices."
Wal-Mart Article

Say what you will about Wal-Mart and their strong-arm business tactics, but I think this is a great idea. Its about time someone realizes that the market isn't really bearing $15 CD's. Personally, I would be much more willing to purchase a CD if it was under 10, compared to downloading (stealing) it if were 15 bucks. Although this will probably hurt local record shops, but they've been pretty much fucked since the advent of the internet.

Puppies!

little dogs are lame.

Cool It Now

In continuing with the tradition set this week with the "Baseball Boogie" and "Ram It", Baron Davis solidifies himself as by far the coolest player in the league with this video.

Directed by the great Emmanuelle Chriqui, of Entourage fame (which means nothing unless he tapped, which he surely did), this is part of a series of promo ads for Reebok. I didn't watch the others, but I'm sure they don't approach the greatness here.

Keep an eye on Baron's repeated attempts at slapping the net, like he's a 10 year old kid. Things like this guarantee a long run in the playoffs for GSW, which would be fun for everyone involved.