Yeah Bitch.

Ahhhhh.. Nothing more refreshing than taking that first morning sip of fresh brewed herbal green tea, with a spot of honey and a squeeze of fresh lemon zest. Delicious! It's like weening refreshment from the very bosom of mother earth's supple titties. Now I guess I can understand your concerns after reading that, there's nothing really cool about a piping fresh cup of green tea to jumpstart your day but don't worry, It's just sometimes I enjoy engaging in drinking a refreshing and anti-oxidant laced non-alcoholic beverage from time to time. You see, there's more to me than just partying, drug experimentation, and petty criminal violations. To truly understand my constantly warring psyche, you must look deep within my weathered eyes, grab the rat tail of my heart and squeeze with the fervor of a strangling obsessed serial killer. Yeah sure, you may know me as the dude that lobbied FOR the spread of global warming so my apartment would be closer to the shore line, and sure, I have a constantly running mini fridge with nothing more than old half eaten jar of salsa and 2 cans of Miller High Life in it, and yes I also am responsible for ending every relationship in a carefully orchestrated passively aggressive fashion. I've lied, cheated, stole, sinned, slothed, coveted, gluttoned, and abused every vice until they all degenerated into my addictions. But beneath this hardened and chiseled exterior lies a soul as soft as an emotional Sage Francis lyric in the spring time. I recycle, I've watched the movie Hope Floats in it's entirety, and I sometimes go days without showering- that's water conservation at it's finest mother fucker. And yes I am capable of raw human emotion. I am not the cold & callus individual they try to paint me as. I've even cried, For real, I have shed tears of despair. Like I've been trying to tell you, I am human after all. Granted, it was 1998 and it was during the final scene of Braveheart after doing ecstasy for a straight week, but those salty tears prove that I have a flowing river of emotion coursing through my inner most thoughts. Tough rugby dude? Pssssssh! I can be as emo as you're favorite shitty rock band or Jae-Dubb’s haircut. I'm a babbling brook of self contemplation and angst.. So let me sit back and sip my herbal tea while I bump the new Pete Rock until my ears bleed and fuck you for judging my choice of beverage.