Throw the book at 'em

So I got jury duty tomorrow. It's hard to believe that the United States Government is entrusting me with someone else's freedom. I mean most of my friends won’t even leave me with an important decision. Shit is comical. I have never been on a jury before. I envision it's about as much fun as actually being on trial. So far the only advantage of this whole ordeal is I get a day off (Yes, I work now son). Maybe I can just play off of people’s fears and prejudices and get booted, and don’t give me that civic pride ish.

I guess I hope I get some interesting ass case some stuff ripe for Court TV or whatever. Like one of those jaded lover killings or cartel style drug busts. But I guess anything gruesome or anything sexually perverse will do. What would be great is if I caught one of those hot middle school milf teachers cheating on her husband with a student. I love that shit. I mean honestly though, how is that a crime? Who is the victim (beside obviously the husband). I guess if I was banging an ugly teacher when I was 13 you can kind of consider that illegal, but if she's like a dime piece or something isn't the real victim society as a whole? I sure as shit stinks wouldn't be complaining if I was 13 choking my hot Spanish teacher up against the chalkboard. Ok so you lock her up, now what? Now no one will get an opportunity to score with her while she's fist deep in some 300 lb. inmate named Charlene for 5 to 10. And while we're at it, fuck it. I think all hot girls should definitely be allowed to stay out of jail actually. Or maybe we can put them all in a special jail where they have to oil wrestle each other in a bracket style tournament for their freedom. I actually think if I had presented that to John Quincy Adams or whoever designed our prison system he would be down. I seriously don't think anyone would be complaining about Lindsay Lohan lubed up pitted against uh.. let's say, Brandy in a submission match for their freedom. Shit, I would even pay to watch that on Pay- Per-View. You could even flip it where you could take popular male prisoners like the Unabomber or Mumia Abdul Jabar and have them special referee the match. Can you imagine the ratings? Lets be honest, the justice system is fucked, score one for the prision industrial complex. I say, let's go the distance for the good of sexy time. Free O.J. Simpson, Leonard Pelitier & Shyne.

I leave you with Myfirstsexteacher