Nerd, You Fucking

"Celtics reserves Brian Scalabrine and Tony Allen helped team doctor Brian McKeon lift Pierce and bring him to the tunnel, where he was put in a wheelchair and taken back to the training room. McKeon helped Pierce calm down so they could assess the damage.

"Athletes in that situation always think the worst," said McKeon, who would not comment on the specifics of Pierce's injury. "He doesn't know. He's a player, not a doctor."

McKeon said an athlete's natural reaction is to fear the worst and try to minimize more damage. So he didn't draw any conclusions about the injury (vagina sprain) until he got Pierce in the training room.

"An injury is an emotional time for any athlete. There's so much adrenaline involved," McKeon said. "So you have to get them in an isolated situation. You have to calm things down (and make them realize a sprained vagina is no reason to miss a game in the finals)."

Once Pierce was able to get back up on his feet, he located the pain (in his vagina) and tried to move from side to side. When he put his weight on it (his vagina), he knew he could at least give it a try (to grow a penis).

McKeon told him it was time to play (and grow a penis).

Pierce said: "Let's do it (I think my penis is now partially developed)."

"I had to get back out there to help my ballclub ( by showing off my new penis)," Pierce said. "That was all that was going through my mind, just being a part of it (and joining the guys with penises that were all still playing). I just wanted to get back out there (and prove that I too possessed a penis)." "

PAUL PIERCE IS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT COULD MAKE ME CHEER ENTHUSIASTICALLY FOR KOBE BRYANT. go kobe, go.