Have a great life fatso.

Count Bass D - Gio Any (I Cold Just Came In)

Credit to Mirk for passing this along. It's not completely clear if it's real, but based on Rahm Emanuel's rep it certainly not far fetched. Great shit.

Wiretap on line 312-XXX-XXXX
November 10th, 2008
12:42 PM Eastern Time
Rush transcript:

RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.

EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.

BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...

EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.

BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting
names. Good people. How's the transition going?

EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to
fucking tell me anything, or what, cause I--

BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks
already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--

EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov,
you know that.

BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger
here.

EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a
stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking
business to take this fucking phone call?

BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.

EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being
fucking busy. Now what did you call about?

BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret]
still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of
priority that is for the President-Elect.

EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second
thoughts about the job.

BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?

EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more
details, you ask her.

BLAGO: She won't take my calls.

EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.

BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?

EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean
governor? A.) You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking
asshole. C.) All of the above.

BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking
Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he
had shit to go on?

EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we
really don't give a shit.

BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?

EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm
not gonna fucking kiss your ring over it.

BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're
talking about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than
appreciation.

EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking
list, you want to make your own list then make your own
fucking list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for
anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can
fucking stop talking right now Rod.

BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute.
Who are you to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.

EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking
joking.

BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this
list I got, the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for
the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that?
Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?

HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?

BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?

[Whirring, shredder noise]

HARRIS (muffled): I did.

EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?

BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.

EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking
speakerphone? Who the fuck do you think I am?

BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear
me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any
more.

EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.

BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck
you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that
Rahm? How you gonna explain that to fucking Barack, every
time he's gotta call me up for my fucking vote. He'd have to
take my calls then, wouldn't he?

EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!

BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your
attention now, didn't I?

EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second
Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the
last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are fucking
dead to me. You been fucking dead to Barack since '06, now
you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're
dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these
friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten
foot fucking pole.

BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.

EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

BLAGO: Fuck you!

EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan,
maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally
brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going
through your head. You won't know the hows or the fucking
whys, but it's gonna have my fucking fingerprints all over
it. Have a great life fatso.

BLAGO: Hey fuck--

EMANUEL: [Click.]

End of conversation


Bonus: Andy Samberg as Emanuel on an un-aired SNL skit: