That Will Give You The Best Chance of Getting Knocked Out

Since our stolen cable was restolen back from us last week, I've been online trying to get my daily fix of television.



After some lazy surfing, I came to the conclusion that Reality TV is still good for one thing - knocking down the very monsters it created.

Hopefully, with shows like "I love Money," and "Farmer Wants a Wife," coming out this season, this might just be the final wave of shitty reality shows... And if so, then we'll have more time and space for the shows that matter! Like your shitty police fantasy dramas made for people that were too lazy to tackle chemistry, or your shitty fantasy gameshows made for people that are too dumb to waste their money by way of a credit card that rewards airline miles.. .

Believe me, you don't want a 6-day/5-night all-inclusive trip to Cancun. You really don't. But if you think you do, try taking off work for 6 days, lock yourself in your house with all the lights on, eat nothing but Taco Bell, sleep on your kitchen floor with the oven on & its door open, don't drink ANYTHING, punch yourself in the facial & abdominal regions frequently, leave your television on the EuroTrance music channel as loud as it goes 24/7, and take showers at the hottest possible setting each morning. You can also have friends stop by to scream swear words and throw bottles at you through your windows if you're looking to add another layer of reality.

I promise it will be equally rewarding, and a lot cheaper. But if not, watch that gameshow, win that trip, and go have the vacation of a lifetime... but I'm warning you: you'll probably wish you just watched "Farmer Wants a Wife" instead.