Never too old for a drinking ticket!

So...football Saturday this past week. Colorado State versus New Mexico: a bowl game in the making if I've ever heard of one! For those who don't know, Megan (my girlfriend) is an athletic training staff member at Colorado State, so I get a lot of free tickets. This was a noon game, so, now nearly 26 years old, my ritual has changed since college football Saturdays at UW. Now the ritual includes 17 presses of the snooze button, 3 Pepto Bismol tablets and atleast 3 glasses of water (one fizzing with Alka Seltzer). After that I typically sit in the shower for about half an hour trying to convince myself that 10am is a reasonable time to awake on a weekend, and trying to remember what I did to deserve the beaded butterfly ring I apparently inherited the night before. I used to be the one handing out jello shots at 8am....what has happened? Anyway, I put on enough team (green) colors to be accepted, but not too many to become the creepy old guy in the student section; I grab the remainder of my thirty-pack of High-Life from the night before and head out to tailgate. Of course, a pint of vodka is a necessity for any high-octane social outing, so I stop at my favorite liquor store to grab some McCormick's. Luckily Megan gave me a staff parking pass, so I didn't have to wait in the ridiculously long car line, bordered by every cop in the city. Once in, I immediately slammed half of the pint to give me that baseline buzz necessary for a football game (for those of you unversed--that's 4 shots). Now this stadium, while it is beautifully set against the Rocky Mountains is a glorified high school stadium. Kind of a joke that it is considered Division-1, as it looks more like a remodeled version of the stadium from Varsity Blues. Like any good Wisconsin boy, I strategically place 3 cans of beer (as requested by the friends I was meeting) under my belt, and walk in without a wink. Once in, I proceed to devour the two Johnsonville brats that I bought with the cash I got from the lone stadium ATM before even finding our section....Before going any farther, I should note that the two buddies I met for this game, were both football coaches, 6'4" minimum, and seemingly man's men. Once we get seated in the student section, I immediately notice a group of 18-19 year olds passing around a 1.75 of Canadian whiskey, and decide that it's ok to start drinking. We each grab a can, and for half an hour life is grand: horrible football, a belly of brats, and beer in hand, what could be better? Then, without warning, five officers swarm us, arms behind our backs and escort us out of the section (nevermind the kid smoking a bowl standing five people away from me). We are taken up the stairs where I ask if it was ok to either finish, or throw away my beer? To my utter amazement, the answer is...."No, that's evidence now!" Really?!?! So we're taken into a back room and separated. I kid you not, I'm pushed against a wall, told to get on my knees, interlock my fingers behind my head, and my forehead is pressed against the brick wall. During the full search, I try to explain that I'm 25 years old was just drinking a beer, I'm no threat. They confiscated my phone, jacket and hat. After that, I am forced to take a mug shot (in which I give my best smile). Adding a little much needed humor at this point, these large football coach men's men start shaking. I ask if this is their first run-in with police, and for both of them it is. That helped a little, two alpha-men, shaking in the presence of a drinking ticket while of legal drinking age. However, the humor can only last so long; insult to injury was delivered quickly enough. For bringing a beer can into a college football game at 25 years old I was given a Class 2 Misdemeanor....I shit you not. I have a mandatory court date in a month, and hopefully this hick-town judge will realize that meth is probably a better way to accumulate his court fees. To top it all off, while being escorted off the premises in cuffs (yes I was cuffed) I run into two of Megan's athlete's and one of their 5 year old nephews. The end of the parade was given finality when I asked for my belongings to be returned, and upon return the officer asks, "So, just for my notes, it was a can of Miller High Life, right?" To which I reply, "I told you I was from Wisconsin didn't I?!?!" So come December 15, me and my can of Miller High Life will appear before a judge to argue that this was the most ridiculous violation of the law that I have ever been cited for, and I was never read my rights! This just goes to show that you are never too old to get a drinking ticket!! Misdemeanor......FUCK THAT!!!!